Every time my beautiful Caroline wants to ask me something she always starts by saying “Mommy I have a question.” My response is always “Yes Caroline”! Now she doesn’t always follow with an actual question…sometimes it’s a statement but mommy reminds her “That’s not a question. That’s a statement”. Then she says “Oh, ok I have a statement”. Of course she does 😉
This can go on for a while until she actually gets to her point but it got me to thinking. My girls will always have questions for me or their dad. Will I always have a good answer? Will I always be here to answer them? Now I have every intention of living forever and being the smartest mommy on the block who has all the answers but I must admit sometimes I don’t.
I guess I’m trying to mentally prepare myself for their questions. Girl questions are not like boy questions which means daddy might not know the answers. But mommy will…or that’s what I keep telling myself.
So in a preemptive manner I’m making a list of all the questions my girls may ask me. And just in case I’m not here or I’m surprised by the question I’ve already prepared my answers.
Mommy why do boys hit?
That’s easy girls. Because they’re flirting with you. Little boys are a lot like big boys. They never really know how to tell a beautiful lady how they feel or that they think you’re pretty. So they hit and hope you hit back. If you hit back (nicely of course) then they chase you. And that my beautiful girls is your goal. If they’re chasing then you know they care.
Mommy can I marry Daddy?
I’ve actually already had this question several times. I always say that daddy is taken but mommy is really hoping you find a man just like your daddy to marry one day. In the meantime though, you can borrow mine. Just have him home by dinner 🙂
I know what you are thinking…these questions get harder and I’m trying to mentally prepare for that because right now my girls are 3 and 1. They’re so young and innocent!…
Wow the irony of my last statement! This is where I stopped blogging a few weeks ago until today. Today made me stop and realize tomorrow is not promised.
I’ve been meaning to finish this post for a weeks now. I honestly didn’t know the next witty thing to say until Caroline asked me one of the hardest questions I’ve ever tried to answer today after her Sunday School class. Her daddy and I have been trying to wrap our minds around the tragic news we learned yesterday as we were out enjoying our gorgeous Saturday afternoon with our sweet Caroline. As her parents we struggled with how to tell her the news. We decided to go to church today so we could spiritually prepare ourselves. When we left church I asked Caroline what she learned in Sunday School and she said “Mommy one of my friends went to Heaven with Jesus” and as I tried to hold back the tears I said “I know Caroline”. I asked her if she knew her name and she said “Yes her name is Cameron”.
Over the weekend one of her Sunday school classmates, Cameron, went to Heaven at the age of three. She was beautiful, healthy, sweet, energetic, and always had this smile on her face. She was loved by two amazing parents and an older brother. Her parents made us feel welcomed at our new church and Cameron and Caroline played together many times in class and at VBS this summer. When Caroline asked me such a hard question I remembered my drafted blog post and how God always helps us finish what we’ve started. God always helps us put things into perspective. God always reminds us that tomorrow is not promised and if we have something to say we should say it.
Here I go finishing what I started with what God has given me. She went on to ask me…
Mommy why did Cameron go to Heaven?
My immediate response was “Caroline I honestly don’t know”. She looked at me a little confused as I tried to compose myself. No mom should ever have to explain why a healthy beautiful child leaves this world so unexpectedly. They’re so innocent and young. She should be asking about what’s for lunch or if she can play outside. Cameron should have been in class this morning with one of her beautiful church dresses on with her signature matching hair bow. No parent should have to bury their child but God doesn’t always give us a reason or even a choice. Life doesn’t always make sense. He only asks that we trust in Him and go by faith and not by sight.
When we got home this afternoon we played for a while and then we read “Heaven is For Real” before our nap. We talk about all the wonderful things in Heaven and we tried to imagine Cameron with her angel wings playing and dancing with Jesus. We talked about how Jesus would take care of her. And how she’d always be happy and never get sick. She would get to play with all the other kids in Heaven and get to see God. I’m not sure if I answered her question but I feel like I did what God wanted me to do as a parent.
I just pray that Caroline never has to ask me that question again but if she does I can only hope I have a better answer. I also pray for strength and courage for the Firebaugh family as they prepare to say goodbye to their beautiful Cameron. I pray God guides them thru this time in a way only He can.
I bookmarked a bible verse a few weeks ago that has given me comfort during this time of sorrow…even then He was preparing me for the things I could not see ahead.
9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Deuteronomy 4:9
There are many other thoughtful and witty questions I could add to my post but I realize now that God knew she would ask me THIS question and that’s the only one I’d need to answer for now. I pray this post helps Caroline remember her friend forever and she can take comfort in knowing Heaven has another angel watching over her. Be blessed…
A few pictures from Sunday school this summer